Virus warning

Take care, folks!

If you receive an email with the subject line starting with "Hi!", you must delete it immediately, BEFORE you read it. This is the most dangerous email virus known so far.

We're talking about a trojan, it will erase all data in the boot sector of your hard drive. And that is not all, the virus will leap over to any loose diskettes near your computer, as far as 100 meters away. It will insert impudent sentences in all letters you print. It will tie all your computer cables and tighten all the screws so you'll never be able to loosen them.

It will soil your keyboard so you can't read the letters, and put fingerprints with butter and jam on your screen. It will remove all the labels from your diskettes as well.

It will mess up the thermostat in your fridge, so that the butter melts and the milk separate. It will make false money with your computer and put them in your wallet. It will kill all the flowers in your garden, and spread the leaves all over the lawn and turn the garbage bin upside down. It will put laxative in your dog's food, so you'll have to let it out throughout the night. It will burn out the light bulb in your toilet and hide the spares.

It will demagnetize your credit cards, delete all your videos and distort the sound on all your cd's. It will put shrimp shell in your bed and stones in your food processor.

It will give your phone number to your ex and all your creditors, pour refrigerant in the aquarium, drink all your beer and leave your stinking socks on the table in the livingroom when you're having guests.

It will exchange the labels on your haircreme and the tooth paste, and turn on your oven with your cat inside.

It will put adult pictures on your computer and send emails to the police about it.

When you're late for work, it will hide your car keys and put a dead rat in your food box and put beer caps instead of salami on your sandwich. It will adjust the egg boiler so your eggs will be green and hard boiled. It will exchange the mayonnaise with latex surfacer when you're having guests.

"Hi!" will make you vote on the Communist Party.

No matter what sex you are, you will fall in love with Mr. Bean and have nightmares of women with warts on their noses.

It will put sugar in your car's petrol tank and shave your eye brows, while it makes impudent proposals to your friend/girl friend behind your back and goes shopping with your Visa card.

"Hi!" can move your car to another place on the parking lot so you can't find it, and remove the parking permit from the window when you leave your car. Using your voice, it will leave impudent messages on your boss' answering machine. This virus is sneaky, dangerous and terrifying.

It will give you measles and never put down the toilet rim.

"Hi!" will produce amphetamin in your bath tub while it's frying bacon in your kitchen that it forgets, and runs out to chase old ladies with your new, automatic lawn-mover while you're at work.

These are only a few of the sympthoms, so watch out!

This virus appears, as you might guess, only in plain text-only email messages with no attachments. They're the most dangerous ones, everybody knows that, for sure.

Tremble.

Last updated: 02-01-2004 10:13